Life of Dave

Life of Dave
Showing posts with label The Art of Fence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Art of Fence. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The Art of Fence

Fencibility

Origin: 2009

Context: in the front, side and backyards of residential neighbourhoods of Vancouver and adjacent suburbs.

Related forms:
Fen-ci-ble, adjective
Fen-ced-ly, adverb
Fen-cing-ly, adverb
Fence-ment, noun

Use in a sentence: The goal is to seek a fencible, safe and off-leash solution to the containment of one’s beloved American Cocker Spaniel.

Forms of treatment: several bottles of chilled micro-brewed beer or ale.

At this point I think I could quite ably teach a course on fencibility. How many times can a simple 4 panel fence be built and re-built?

Or, more simply (but equally as exasperatingly) put…how long is a piece of string?

It’s a good thing I generally enjoy carpentry. Also, it never hurts to work under the guidance and supervision of a trusted carpentry Spaniel.
















You know, the ones bred specifically for their finely tuned ability to identify cedar at 40 paces. Well OK, that’s an exaggeration; they actually MUCH prefer the scent (and taste!) of Milkbones. But none-the-less, I certainly enjoy Shelby’s company while I build stuff. She lowers my blood pressure when fence panels still don’t fit even after being measured twice or thrice.

Actually, I think there is a fair bit of sawdust (not necessarily Cedar) coursing through my veins. My Grandfather apprenticed as a shipwright in his youth and never tired of woodworking his whole life. I’ve inherited his tools and I try to give them a decent workout as often as I can. I’ve added some new technological wonders over the years like a compound mitre saw and a table saw, but there are a number of vintage tools in my wall-mounted tool chest (Grandpa-built) that I don’t even know what they are, much less what to do with them.

I was thinking…if Apple really wants to stomp Microsoft into the ground once and for all, they need to produce a software program called iFence. Simply download the program, select the fence style, and press ‘Enter’. Voila; instant fence.

But then I’d miss out on the smell of fresh-cut Cedar.