Wise Company

Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed a striking, yet completely unexpected similarity between Rob Ford and Lance Armstrong?

To paraphrase Rob Ford yesterday, “How can I comment on something I haven’t seen or doesn’t exist? How many more times do I have to say this?”

Compare to Lance Armstrong in November 2005: "How many times do I have to say it? … Well, it can't be any clearer than 'I've never taken drugs.'"

To be fair, I wasn’t at the same places Rob Ford was, so realistically I can’t say one way or the other. But on this Father’s Day weekend it got me t’ thinkin’ about my dear ol’ Dad. He passed away 22 years ago, but I still remember one lesson he tried to instill in me. And for the most part it stuck. Phrasing wasn’t his strong point, but he got his message across regarding me and my relationship with my friend Brian. Be careful concerning the people you hang around with. People judge you for the friends you keep.

I knew Brian better than he did, but looking back I can see what alarmed him. Brian came from a split family, first living wild with his father in Ontario, then moving in with his Mom and her new husband on the West Coast, having been kicked out from TO. He smoked 2 packs a day by high school, had done every substance I knew about at that time likely twice already, and it was a wonder to me (at least by the stories he’d tell me) that he wasn’t already paying multiple child support. My Dad didn’t want me to associate with him.

So, Rob Ford. Regardless of circumstances leading up to this present crisis, wouldn’t things be a whole lot better now if you hadn’t had your photo taken with your arms around convicted felons/ drug dealers? Didn’t your parents instill in you anything about the company with which you keep? Especially now in the days of instant photo uploads to social media!

This morning on CBC radio a question was posed regarding “Describe a time when your Father saved you”. A fellow phoned in and described the day in his youth that his Father had told him he didn’t think he should see one of his friends anymore. This after Dad had driven past the high school unannounced one afternoon and probably saw the friend doling out cigarettes. The caller wasn’t sure if Dad saw the cigarettes, but is relieved now, years later, that he took Dad’s advice and severed the friendship. His buddy went on to fail Grade 9 multiple times. It was downhill from there.

Conversely, as far as I’ve been told, Brian turned out OK. I lost touch with him many years ago (although it wasn't back in high school at Dad's urging).

But the adage holds true; choose your company wisely. Make Dad proud.

Terraformed Mars Mammoth Cloning

Two recent science fiction topics have recently hit the headlines. And the scary part is that it may not be out of the question for either of them (or perhaps both(!)) to materialize in my lifetime.

The first one is the colonization of Mars. It’s a pretty cool dream, IMHO. The explorer in me really wants to see that happen. I’ve read a good book on the subject (twice actually). It’s called “The Case for Mars” by Robert Zubrin. He maps out a detailed plan of how much more affordably the mission could be accomplished than NASA has proposed in the past. Basically he subtracts as much of the politics and back-room shenanigans as possible to let rational planning (and science!) light the way.

He even explains how Mars can be terraformed, thereby introducing life-sustaining oxygen into Mars’ current atmosphere. I hadn’t thought such a thing could even be done, but never count science out! Recently I watched a science program, released I think after the most recent hoopla surrounding sending real live astronauts to Mars. In that program it was mentioned that terraforming would take, minimally, centuries to transform the atmosphere to the level that people would be able to function without carrying auxiliary breathing apparatus. But it might take up to a thousand years. Yikes!

Come on science! You can do better than that! If the potential exists to clone a Mammoth cell (this week’s bright scientific spark), I humbly put forth the notion that Virgin Air will shortly be doing brisk business ferrying vacationers to Mars (and back!). A tangent Martian tagline has revealed that a group of European entrepreneurs have launched a contest to accept resumes of people willing to leave Earth forever to take one-way passage to the red planet, with intent of human colonization.

I highly doubt I’ll be forwarding my CV any time soon…unless of course there’s already a venti non-fat extra-hot skinny Macchiato half-caf waiting for me as I de-plane. (I don’t even know what I just ordered.)

As a parting thought, I think I may have solved a couple of dilemmas relating Mars to Mammoths. Why not clone Mammoths on Mars? I read a negative editorial a couple of days ago explaining that it would be cruel to re-introduce an extinct plains-grazing animal into our new world in which its natural habitat is rapidly decreasing. As we know already, an existing northern dweller, the polar bear is having a tough time with a warming planet. Mammoths are (would be) no less tolerant of such an environment.

But, think about it for a minute…assign a forward-thinker, a Richard Branson or Steve Jobs-type to lead a think-tank. Then plunk a buncha Mammoth-cloning proponents in the same room with Mars terraformers and we’ll have herds of those big hairy elephants grazing the red Martian prairie in no time!

Can’t you just picture the faces of the review panel on Dragon’s Den as they digest a pitch from a gaggle of Mars-terraformers/ Mammoth-cloners? Would you buy in?